I’m going to be open and straight forward with you all from the start.
I want to be a streamer, and in order to do that I need to get noticed. Look at how much effort I put in just to get your attention.
So I’ll make you a deal. If I can make you crack a smile before you reach the end of this post, you have to follow me on Twitch and check me out for a few minutes the next time I stream. If I can’t get your pearly whites to make an appearance, you can come and roast me harder than Tyler1 in my chat. Sound fair?
This post is going to be fairly unstructured, that’s just how I roll. Now that the introduction and my intentions are out of the way – I want to share my vision for Mojo and invite you all on this exciting journey.
I want Mojo (MJO) to carve out its place in the future of eSports. I want teams & individuals to play under our name and I want us to manage and support them like professionals. We will be the Manchester United of eSports. (We’re based in Manchester, UK)
It’s my aim to develop the UK eSports scene into a serious contender for current and future eSports. Ladies & Gentleman, I want to work with the best and brightest people in the business so I can deliver to YOU the highest caliber of entertainment you’ve ever seen.
I want the hair-splittingly close grand finals, I want the infamous underdog stories, I want the loyal fans who support us every step of the way.
This dream isn’t possible without all of you wonderful gamers, viewers, and memers. Stick around because we’re here to blow your mind.
Do you feel those goose bumps? That was pretty intense… Let’s move onto the highly detailed Hanzo Cosplay we spent weeks perfecting.
Last week I finally upgraded my internet so I’m able to stream properly. Getting a following takes a lot of time, hard work, and originality. What better way to kick start my streaming career than to make a tit of myself on the internet?
I’d mentioned in the past to a couple of friends that dressing up as Overwatch characters and recording some funny scenes would be a laugh. Costumes, props, cameras, computers, people, and everything in between isn’t cheap.
This way all the money spent making hilarious photoshoots and videos is a stream investment. You know what I mean? Of course, this isn’t going to work without you. I need your thoughts, I need your feedback, and I need your patience.
Pop into the stream and share your opinion. What don’t you like? What do you love? Is the game play good enough? Is the music annoying? Am I boring? Am I entertaining? I won’t improve without everyone’s valuable feedback.
I’d sorted a few props (bow & arrow) and costume parts (shoes, shorts, shirts, and towels) out before hand, but the costume was still no where near ready. I bought a shitty £40 video camera off Amazon the day before and read the manual the morning of recording. My first time holding a video camera. I have zero experience with any of this, so it’s all one big learning experience.
I even bought a tripod because in my eyes that is what professionals use. When I opened the tripod box, it dawned on me that I was an idiot and I hadn’t read the measurements.
What I pulled out was a head crab sized tripod that wasn’t going to help us one bit. Fuck up numero uno. You know what? We’re going to tally the fuck ups.
BUT, I am not the turd.
I rang up my friend, Scowy, and told him to come and pick me up because we need to go to Toys ‘R’ Us to get a toy dragon for the arm and chest tattoo. When he arrived I tossed everything onto the back seat (including the handy tripod). We then went to pick up Scott, a friend who knows how a camera works and is familiar with filming.
After scouring Toys ‘R’ Us for over twenty minutes, it became clear that there were no toy dragons up for the task. We did manage to find a luminous pink snake, but it wasn’t long enough to wrap around my enormous bicep.
Like intelligent individuals, we put all of our brains together to form one normal brain and came up with two choices. We draw it on or we steal Scott’s dog’s squeaky snake toy. Say that five times!
We made a quick stop at Burger King to brain storm some funny scenes and tried to put a storyboard together. Then like true British weather, it went from pleasant clouds to torrential rain.
BUT, we are not the turd
Not letting the weather beat us, we got back into the car to drive to Scowy’s house to film. It was at this moment that Scott found my magnificent tripod. After having a laugh and explaining the story, he pulled on the bottom and out came a huge extension. Apparently it was a full sized tripod, I just didn’t know they collapsed like that. Does that bring my fuck ups back down to zero?
After hauling everything into his living room, it was time for Scowy and I to tackle hair & makeup. Scott had to run home to walk his dog, get his camera, and steal a snake. The original plan for Hanzo’s quiff was to tape a comb to my forehead, but Scowy’s Mum was kind enough to let me ruin her hair extensions.
Here’s fuck up number one.
I don’t know how girls deal with this shit all day long, but having a flappy quiff of hair in your face gets annoying really fucking quick.
We taped it into my hair using fancy hair tape and that fucker was stuck in there real good. Starting with this piece of the outfit first was not a smart move.
After learning from our mistakes, we decided to leave the top knot until later.
The bottom half was easy. Looking back on it now, I wish I made a bit more effort with the shorts. I’m sure I could have found a bigger, baggier pair somewhere. For the boots I just used my motorbike boots and didn’t fasten them up.
Then it was time to deal with the top half. Initially the plan was to use a black towel, but it ended up being too short and my belly button was sticking out. I ended up ripping a black t-shirt at the neck and then sticking my arm out, giving that beautiful ‘vest’ like effect.
Progress was being made! Now it was just the bits and bobs – the fine details. I spun up a blue towel like I was about to start a war in a locker room and wrapped it around my waist. Then I put a leather belt across my chest and dangled a blue belt from the towel. I used a motorbike glove for his hand.
Enter fuck up number two.
I don’t have much experience duct taping shit to humans, hair, or clothes.
Duct tape does not stick to humans, hair, or clothes.
We had to duct tape a shaving brush to my fucking head, a water bottle to my hip, a soda can to my nipple, and a video camera pouch to my stomach.
As soon as we got one item to stick, another one would fall off. After wasting half a roll of duct tape, the costume was finally getting close to finished. The only problem was my mobility was severely limited because the towel would come undone if I bent down, which then meant all of the duct tape would come undone as well.
I also couldn’t move my neck or head because the top knot would fall off. Bearing in mind we were toying around with the idea of doing the back flip highlight intro…
That idea quickly got scrapped.
Hello fuck up number three.
I still hadn’t drawn on the facial hair. The only mirror in the house was in the bathroom. I was in the living room.
It took me fifteen minutes to climb those stairs, but we managed without a major catastrophe. I was rocking a bit of stubble already, so the beard actually came out pretty well. We only had to highlight the goatee with a black sharpie. We also planned to cut out some black card for my chin to get a bit of a 3D like effect, but we forgot.
Keep in mind that I still have hair extentions slapping into my face and mouth, I have to keep my neck and head perfectly still otherwise the top knot falls off, I can’t bend over, and now I am high off sharpie fumes.
I carefully make my way downstairs, taking yet another 15 minutes, and land at the bottom.
Oh look, it’s fuck up number four. Nice of you to show up.
After murdering Scowy for not telling me there was a mirror right there, it became clear that he told me there was a mirror right there – Evidently I am not what you call a “listener”.
All that was left was the tattoo. I went into the living room to grab my bow, and that’s when Scott arrived with a chewed up snake toy. We duct taped it to me and it stayed on surprisingly well. Oh and we used Scott’s tripod bag as my quiver – smart thinking!
Behold our wondrous creation:
Oh, it gets better… It’s time to move onto the Hanzo Hightlight Intros:
Getting the top knot to not fall off for this shot took so many takes.
We tried so many different variations of this next highlight intro, this one was one of the funniest.
The arrow would constantly get stuck in the end of the hole and dangle there awkwardly. Timing Scowy with the arrow and with me letting go of the string was also a nightmare.
Once again you can see that top knot being a pain in my arse at the end of the clip.
What? You didn’t think you would be blessed with some Hanzo gameplay as well? Don’t we spoil you…
This is an accurate representation of scatter arrow. We think you’ll agree.
You can see what I mean about the arrow getting stuck at the start of this clip. The guinea pig was a nice touch to really tie the film together.
You really have to check out the bloopers at the bottom of this post. The scatter arrow footage is my favourite blooper, so much went wrong…
We can’t miss out Hanzo’s legendary ultimate either.
Ryū Ga Waga Teki O Kurau…
We only had one shot at this because we’d been filming for hours. After you’ve watched it I’ll tell you the funny details.
We were getting tired, and it was the last scene we needed before we could pack it in.
We didn’t want to have to duct tape the snake onto me over and over again because that would have taken ages.
Scowy did a good job with the duct tape for the snake, and if you listen quietly you can here me let out a groan of pain.
Ripping that tape off stung like a bitch! But I put on brave face for you all.
Willow (the pup) did not want to cooperate with us. We ended up getting her too excited and she caught the “Zoomies”. We’ve been informed that she has a pirate outfit she wants to show off. Maybe next time?
Make sure you check out the bloopers as well, they’re gold:
We had a ton of fun with this project and the response we’ve gotten so far is overwhelmingly positive. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, it means a lot to us!
Check out our social media and get in touch with us, we love a good natter.
Which character do you want to see next?